My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
