I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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