I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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