dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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