i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
