would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
