My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
