He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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