I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
FUCK WHALES
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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