I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
