he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize