I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
