He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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