I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
