My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
