So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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