He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think im going to throw up on grandma
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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