I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
