i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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