you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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