Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
