Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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