When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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