so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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