if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
