her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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