he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
