I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize