You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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