i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
