we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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