You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
