just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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