ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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