It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize