didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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