can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
