just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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