he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
