btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I need a hoe opinion
go on
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
