is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
