I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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