yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
