Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
