Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize