Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
