mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
only if we run a train.
done.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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