He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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