Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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