I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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