i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
