This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
