a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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