i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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