Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
