He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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