Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
