How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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