I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sorry about my life...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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