I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
