She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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