Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
