she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
