Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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