I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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